of Dreams and Sorrows
‘Always follow your dreams. Do not follow the herd. Do something you like.’, were the last words of the teacher as the school bell rang. How many students were listening is a hard guess to make. How many even understood the significance of those words is a even bigger question. However one boy in the class did understand those words. He was not letting go of this.
‘Dad ! The teacher asked me to follow my dreams .’
‘ Yes. As a matter of fact even I did. I was an engineer and then went on to do a management degree. However, I left all that to become an author. Well, I may not make much but I guess I am happy.’
‘Really Dad ? ‘
‘Yes son ! Dont let anyone take away your dreams’
‘Mom ! I spoke to dad and he asked me to chase my dreams. I want to open a Idli-Dosai shop. I want to live in the world of Sambhar and Chutneys and Dosai. What do you say ?’
‘Well ! Chasing dreams is one thing. But we are a middle-class family. You have a sister. You need to take care of her marriage. If you go around chasing dreams like your father, we are always going to be stuck in a rented house with a ten year old bike. We dont even have a car to travel to functions. These days, our relatives have stopped calling us for most of functions. We would be invited to so many parties when we are newly – married and your dad had a high paying Investment Banking profile. Then he left it to chase his dreams. I left mine to raise you and your sister. ‘
‘Ma. Are you telling me not to go after restaurant business ? You do know that all big people have come up after being extremely poor. You can take Ambani for instance.’
‘ No Son ! Remember this . You are not Ambani. People like him are one in a million. You are not one of them. You are an ordinary middle class boy who cannot dream. if you dream, you will end up being poor like your father.’
‘But Dad said he was happy living his life.’
‘Why wont he be ? I am the one who suffers right. I am the one who feels the pain when you wear old clothes and uniforms. He lives in an imaginary world. if you wish to join him, i am fine. But dont take your family down chasing your dreams. First settle your family. Get a job. make your sister marry a good guy. You get married. Get a good wife. Settle down with her and then think.’
‘Mom ! For all this to happen, wont I be almost forty when I am settled and everything. You think I would have the energy and drive to run behind my dreams after that ?’
‘Thats precisely how we women-folk have been managing to stop you men running behind your stupid dreams.’
Come on, this is way too harsh an observation of Mom. You have to put things in context. The context for me is that in India, this is not isolated. It happens in many middle class households. But that doesn’t mean people don’t chase their dreams. But life affords us only certain luxuries and among them is a luxury to shoot for certain types of professions. Chasing your dreams is important but making sure you are good at it before you go head-long into the chase is also important.
You have to remember that the mom is a character will is irritated with a guy chasing his dreams outside his limits . She is the unhappy survivor and she does not want anything more .
Remember one thing . There is no such thing as limited risk or dreams . You either chase them or live with what you have . I dont see how you ask people to limit yourself .
What I mean by limited dreams is this: First see if you are good enough to chase the dream and achieve it (not just dream it). Test the waters if you will. Everyone is skilled in a different thing and what you dream may not be what you are good at it. It made sense to chase those hopeless dreams in the past, but in our age I don’t think we have that luxury.
Ultimately in today’s economy lot of young people end up chasing highly difficult dreams plunging themselves into needless hardship. Most of them haven’t even thought about going the distance with the dream, they just go for it blindly. I think it’s good not to be selfish in this aspect, which is what Mom preaches in this story. Instead of chasing a personal dream, it is much worthy to find a place where your skills and talent have the greatest impact. The great impact may be to yourself, your family, your country or humanity. Passion is an overrated term. You need some passion to succeed in what you do, but you don’t need truckloads.
Always go for dreams .. that time we need to take care of realities we need to face what all ‘Mom’ said. We have to live with it. We have to be there to take responsibilities. In this case who said your restaurant could be a source of big income for all these responsibilities. For that we have to be confident enough to go for dream …
You can still open Idli-Dosa restaurant .. can’t you?
@ramji – werent you the one who first said that the Mom character is being criticised too much. Now you are exactly quoting the way I wanted Mom character is to be seen. What made you change your mind Ramji
This blog looks like of the 20th century! If you have dreams, and have the confidence to achieve it, no mom or dad would ever stop you or can ever stop you.
Also, it is not about MEN or WOMEN. Nothing is black or white, everything is grey and it is true for both men and women.
I liked the story though
Jenny – many people forget that the Mom character is speaking all that after she let Dad chase his dreams. I do not say Women are bad at all. The first impression probably gives you that feel. But just see deeper na. Mom’s statements are not at all wrong and especially so given her situation.
I can assure you that this is not at all twentieth century at all. This is prevelant in India even today.
I wish all of you to see this blog without thinking Nik is going to be prejudiced against women . I personally think women are brillaint when it comes to risk analysis and I believe I have potrayed hopefully an accurate representation of how women think.
The blog is great NM, but it doesnot potray the below:
‘. I personally think women are brillaint when it comes to risk analysis and I believe I have potrayed hopefully an accurate representation of how women think. ‘
But also, the essenece of the blog got lost (which was follow your dreams) somewhere in the mom’s discussion.
I think, we have to choose between the real world and the dream world.. and someone has to be there to wake you up, if you linger a bit too long in the dream world..isn’t it.. lets just say, the person who wakes you up could be anyone, to put the argument to rest
But yes, the dream point is very clear here. I liked that a lot
Always follow your dream nik….but dont get lost in it..always carry your totem with you
yea i will remember to keep it spinning. but the line that a simple idea if planted in your mind can shape your life is brilliant in afterthought as good as say madness is like gravity
With 3 to 5 restaurant branches in a city like Hyderabad, he can earn 1 lac/day easily.. He is not averse to Money but passionate about Idly, Sambar, Dosa, Uthappam, Bonda, Puri etc.. Money follows passion. Always.
@Raja – Yes . I wish to leave you all with the message that follow the dream or passion. but do it in consultation of your loved ones. We need both of them to suceed. What is the use of earning millions without your wife/mom ‘s support ? balanced outlook is needed but you should try at least.
A smart guy makes everyone happy and achieves his goal successfully in time.