On the scale of one to ten – I give her a minus two

The fascination with what girls do is reaching a climax in my heavily fragmented mind. It does seem that every other post has something to do with them. I find girls a fascinating specimen to argue, to irritate and to cuddle with.

The other day, I spoke to a collegue of mine and she was particularly vocal about being single.
‘No guy has proposed to me till now.’, said She. I was not playing by the usual game of guessing and teasing till she comes out with the statement ‘Yes. I have a guy. Its not like I did not want to tell you. Just that I wanted to share it with you at the right moment.’ Instead my mind started wondering the odds stacked against guys.

For instance, the number of guys are considerably more compared to girls. Excuse the poor guy for proposing quick because he is obviously scared that some other guy might do the same and you might accept it. I have seen numerous couples walking on road and most of them had one thing in common. The guy would have his arm tightly wrapped around the female counterpart. It almost felt like ‘ No ! You cannot run away ‘. But now I understand what it meant. It actually meant ‘ Please fellow guys. This one is mine. Please do not steal her from me. I cannot publicise my desire more than this. I am holding her so tight that she can barely breathe. but as long as she breathes , she is mine.’

I mean there are so few girls everywhere. Every team in office has to pray each year during the time new freshers are inducted ( which happens sometimes around April-May) . My own prayers have ranged from ‘ please give us a hot looking team lead’ to ‘ please give me some female near my cubicle’. As soon as new freshers come and one of them happens to be a girl, everyone in the surrounding area pounces on the cattle. Almost like a leopard pouncing on the wildebeast except in this case it is like ten to twenty on one.

Even after beating up all your fellow leopards , you finally talk to the girl in your office only to find her co-classmate and co-fresher eyeing us with greed and jealousy. You decide to ignore him and then decide ‘ I am not the kid anymore.’ Besides, there is always this feeling that if she is even ok-looking she must have a boy-friend. So all we can do is shrug off our shoulders , call up that co-fresher – co-classmate of hers and tell him the most encouraging words he was ever going to hear in his corporate life ‘ Go get her bro. She is all yours.’. All this when you already know, she wont be yours.

When a guy tells me he is single, I am not surprised. Even I am single and there is nothing wrong in it. The odds are stacked against guys getting girls. However, it is surprising when a girl in India says, ‘I am single. What to do ? Thats the truth.’

Your immediate statement would be ‘ What ? No way. Come on. You look decent.’
‘I dont know. Nobody else thinks so. Isn’t that why I am single ?’
‘But this is India.’
‘Yeah . But its ok. Its not like I am sad or anything. I just thought of saying I am not in a relationship.’
My mind comes back to the presence of a peculiar case in the Indian Society.
I told her ‘You are completely socially inactive’
‘Do you think every girl needs to date in order to be considered active ?’
‘No ! She does not have to date but she should at least try. You are a wonderful female. You should give some guy a chance to be involved and if not you can leave him. There are so many guys in need of a chance.’
‘Its not like I really need one. I just thought of telling you how frustrating it is that every one asks me the same questions about me being single. No one believes me.’
‘Yes. They should not. Cause in this desperate girl-starved Indian society, every guy needs as much motivation as possible to succeed. I am sorry if i hurt you saying this but for your social inactivity in this society, on a scale of one to ten, I give you a minus two.’

‘Minus two ? Why not a minus ten ? And how can you give me less than zero on a one to ten scale ?’

‘There are people who try and fail. They are at level one. For people who don’t even try, they are below the starting scale.’

(P.S- This was not meant to hurt girls-guys. I can assure you no girls were harmed while writing this blog)

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